Fatwa Saiyidina Umar r.a :
“Orang yang bijaksana,tidaklah dia mahu mencari sahabat melainkan orang-orang yang panjang fikirannya, kuat agamanya, luas ilmunya, tinggi akhalaknya, lanjut akalnya, dan di waktu mudanya bergaul dengan orang-orang yang soleh. Barangsiapa yang melalaikan keteguhan percintaan dari sahabatnya, maka tidaklah dia akan merasai buah persaudaraan orang itu terhadapnya. Barangsiapa yang memutuskan persaudaraan sebab takut dikhianati, maka hiduplah dia dengan tidak bersaudara. Tidaklah ada kesenangan hati yang menyamai kesenangan bersahabat, dan tidaklah ada kedukaan yang melebihi kedukaan apabila putusnya persahabatan itu.”
“Orang yang bijaksana,tidaklah dia mahu mencari sahabat melainkan orang-orang yang panjang fikirannya, kuat agamanya, luas ilmunya, tinggi akhalaknya, lanjut akalnya, dan di waktu mudanya bergaul dengan orang-orang yang soleh. Barangsiapa yang melalaikan keteguhan percintaan dari sahabatnya, maka tidaklah dia akan merasai buah persaudaraan orang itu terhadapnya. Barangsiapa yang memutuskan persaudaraan sebab takut dikhianati, maka hiduplah dia dengan tidak bersaudara. Tidaklah ada kesenangan hati yang menyamai kesenangan bersahabat, dan tidaklah ada kedukaan yang melebihi kedukaan apabila putusnya persahabatan itu.”
Terharu dan sayu bila baca blog kawan2. It's curious how our behaviour greatly affects our dear friends, isn't it? Who wouldn't miss those happy times? I even confide my mom about it. Mothers are always generous and forgiving in nature, that is why their opinion helps you to see things differently.
Recently, I read a book entitled 'The Rules of Life' by Richard Templar. The author said we ought to keep to ourselves of what we discover from his book, but I believe we should share good things with others. And one of the things he wrote was on how being a real friend is a tremendous responsibility. He listed down all the qualities required; "loyal, sincere, dependable, open, responsive, forgiving at times and prepared to offer help, support and sympathy" and lots more. He also said we may have to be truthful at times and be prepared to risk the friendship by being so.
Bukan kah dua orang yang bersahabat dan berpisah demi mendapat keredhaan Allah salah satu golongan yang mendapat naungan-Nya di akhirat kelak? So what if he/she refuses to listen now? You always have Him by your side. Seek His guidance and pray that our friends will see to reason. Amin.
Yet equally there are times where you need to hold your tongue and keep your opinion to yourself. We all need to understand that they are our friends, not our clones or slaves to do our bidding--they do things differently and have their own way of thinking.
And this is all what we need to do. But even if our friends fail to do any of this, we will not and should not abandon them. We remain being their friend, being forgiving and most importantly, BEING THERE. You are there in time of joy as well as in trouble or stress.
It's easy to be angry, make rude gestures and swear. It isn't so easy to be forgiving. However, forgiveness or tolerance should not be mistaken with meekness. Being forgiving doesn't mean we can be pushed around. We can stand our ground but at the same time try to forgive our friends for all the stupid mistakes they make. Someone once told me to just forget about them, who cares? Well--apparently I do. No matter how much I hate the things they said or how they act, they are my friends--good or bad. I couldn't ignore them even if I try. Plus, I'm tired of being angry all the time, aren't you? I realize that being angry at those you care about--family and friends is exhausting and consumes you emotionally, and I am exhausted.
Rasulullah SAW bersabda maksudnya:
"Perumpamaan orang beriman yang berkasih sayang, dan saling rahmat merahmati dan di dalam kemesraan sesama mereka adalah seperti satu tubuh, apabila satu anggota mengadu sakit, maka seluruh tubuh akan turut merasainya dan membantunya dengan berjaga malam dan demam." (Riwayat Muslim)
We all share and hold the same value i.e. Islam, and Islam transcends gender, age, race, state and family background. Kalau kita faham mesej yang dibawa oleh Rasul junjungan kita, kita akan sentiasa mempunyai hati yang berkobar-kobar untuk mencintai sahabat2. I simply refuse to believe that it's impossible to be like we used to just because we've known each other's bad side or because we've come to realize that we are different. I have faith in my friends and I pray that someday we will see pass our differences.
Recently, I read a book entitled 'The Rules of Life' by Richard Templar. The author said we ought to keep to ourselves of what we discover from his book, but I believe we should share good things with others. And one of the things he wrote was on how being a real friend is a tremendous responsibility. He listed down all the qualities required; "loyal, sincere, dependable, open, responsive, forgiving at times and prepared to offer help, support and sympathy" and lots more. He also said we may have to be truthful at times and be prepared to risk the friendship by being so.
Bukan kah dua orang yang bersahabat dan berpisah demi mendapat keredhaan Allah salah satu golongan yang mendapat naungan-Nya di akhirat kelak? So what if he/she refuses to listen now? You always have Him by your side. Seek His guidance and pray that our friends will see to reason. Amin.
Yet equally there are times where you need to hold your tongue and keep your opinion to yourself. We all need to understand that they are our friends, not our clones or slaves to do our bidding--they do things differently and have their own way of thinking.
And this is all what we need to do. But even if our friends fail to do any of this, we will not and should not abandon them. We remain being their friend, being forgiving and most importantly, BEING THERE. You are there in time of joy as well as in trouble or stress.
It's easy to be angry, make rude gestures and swear. It isn't so easy to be forgiving. However, forgiveness or tolerance should not be mistaken with meekness. Being forgiving doesn't mean we can be pushed around. We can stand our ground but at the same time try to forgive our friends for all the stupid mistakes they make. Someone once told me to just forget about them, who cares? Well--apparently I do. No matter how much I hate the things they said or how they act, they are my friends--good or bad. I couldn't ignore them even if I try. Plus, I'm tired of being angry all the time, aren't you? I realize that being angry at those you care about--family and friends is exhausting and consumes you emotionally, and I am exhausted.
Rasulullah SAW bersabda maksudnya:
"Perumpamaan orang beriman yang berkasih sayang, dan saling rahmat merahmati dan di dalam kemesraan sesama mereka adalah seperti satu tubuh, apabila satu anggota mengadu sakit, maka seluruh tubuh akan turut merasainya dan membantunya dengan berjaga malam dan demam." (Riwayat Muslim)
We all share and hold the same value i.e. Islam, and Islam transcends gender, age, race, state and family background. Kalau kita faham mesej yang dibawa oleh Rasul junjungan kita, kita akan sentiasa mempunyai hati yang berkobar-kobar untuk mencintai sahabat2. I simply refuse to believe that it's impossible to be like we used to just because we've known each other's bad side or because we've come to realize that we are different. I have faith in my friends and I pray that someday we will see pass our differences.
Ya Allah, kurniakanlah perasaan cinta kepada-Mu, dan cinta kepada orang yang mengasihi-Mu, dan apa sahaja yang membawa daku menghampiri cinta-Mu. Jadikanlah cinta-Mu itu lebih aku hargai daripada air sejuk bagi orang yang kehausan. Amin.
Wallahua'lam.
