I feel like writing but little comes to mind.
It's one of those sleepless nights--I'm restless and agitated for no reason. My pulse is bounding and I can hear my heart beating. It feels almost like fear, but of an unknown origin...which made it worse. Usually and most of the time, I'd call home just to make sure everything's fine. So far, nothing bad ever happened. And I would convinced myself that I'm being paranoid. Then again, it is times like this I'd be reminded of the end. Mine and people I love and care about. What if--this is it? I'm sure I'll have many regrets. So many mistakes and words left unsaid.
There's a saying from an author Stephen Levine, he says and I quote, "If you had an hour to live and could make just one phone call, who would it be to, what would you say...and why are you waiting?" but of course, none of us knows how long we'll live. Nonetheless, death IS certain and if we live life the way we should, regrets are no longer an issue. So, if I had an hour to live, I'd choose to write to my parents.
Mama and Abah,
Thank you for allowing me to be part of your life. Nothing I do or did will ever be enough to repay all that you've given me. You were there when no one else is, even though I was never always there for you. Thank you for accepting me, with flaws and all. Your unlimited kindness, patience and forgiving nature--qualities I've always admired about. You taught me to do what's right and even when I'm lost, you were always there to guide me back. Never judgmental and just. My greatest blessing in life from Allah would be you both. I only wish that throughout my life, there are moments that you feel glad and happy to have me as your daughter.
Mama,
You were my counselor and my inspiration in life. I love you so very much and forgive me for all the countless mistakes I've done.
Abah,
You are and will always be the number one man in my life.
If you had one hour to live and could make just one phone call, who would you call?
What would you say?
What would you say?
